What Being Filmed Taught Me About Showing Up

Over the last couple of years, I’ve been lucky enough to call myself a speaker. Because of what happened to me, I now get to use my lived experience to inspire others and share lessons about building resilience and finding the strength to overcome challenges.

Back in 2023, this was something I dreamt about. I wanted to make a career in public speaking but didn’t know where to start or how to build the confidence I thought I needed. Things began to shift when I stopped focusing on myself and started focusing on giving the audience something real — something they could use in their own lives. And honestly, that’s the number one thing I’ve learnt about becoming a confident speaker.

Why We Get Nervous on Stage

We often feel the most nervous when we assume all eyes are on us, watching our every move. But that’s rarely the case. There’s actually a name for this: the spotlight effect — a psychological tendency to overestimate how much attention others are paying to us.

In reality, whether it’s colleagues in a presentation or a packed conference room, most people are more focused on their own thoughts and reactions than on our perceived flaws. This is a powerful reframe for anyone dealing with fear of public speaking.

When I Was Filmed Giving a Talk

Even though I know this in theory, last week I found out that four of my workshops were being filmed. Just short snapshots, not the full talk. But still, the news sent me spiraling — worrying about how I would look, rather than what the opportunity actually meant: greater visibility, more reach, better marketing, and the chance to share an important message with more people.

Let’s be honest, most of us don’t love how we look on camera. But for me, the anxiety ran deeper. I was consumed by the thought of how much more visible my facial paralysis would be on film. My body reacted instantly — sweaty palms, a racing heart, and a voice that struggled to stay steady.

During that first workshop, I found myself disconnected from my own message. Instead of focusing on impact, I was only thinking about how others might perceive me when the video was released.

Reframing Fear Into Strength

The irony? One of the tools I actually teach when speaking about resilience is reframing.

Reframing a problem means looking at it from a new angle and shifting your focus from what’s going wrong to what you can learn, change, or do differently. It can also mean changing the meaning you give to a situation. That shift in perspective can transform how you feel and the experience you’ll have.

In this case, reframing meant recognising that being filmed wasn’t about being exposed — it was about being seen as someone with lived experience, insight, and value to share because of what I’d been through.

And yes, watching the video afterwards was hard. I picked out flaws. I was critical. But I also saw someone standing up and doing something brave. I saw people’s reactions in the comments and messages I received. And I remembered what it felt like to be in that room — not worrying about how I looked, but knowing I was making a difference.

It reminded me how much we miss out on when we let fear of being seen stop us from showing up.

A Reminder If You’re Struggling With Confidence

So if you’re holding yourself back — from speaking, leading, or creating — because of how you look or how you think others might perceive you, please remember this:

✨ Your voice matters.

✨ Your story is worth sharing.

✨ Showing up as you are might be the very thing that gives someone else permission to do the same.

I'm proud of the talk. I'm proud I said yes to being filmed. 

And most of all, I’m proud that I didn’t let fear decide for me.