Face it when it comes.
I remember I was worried about something on that Tuesday morning when I was waiting to be ‘discharged’ from Birmingham Hospital. Yet, I can’t for the life of me remember what that worry was now. The fact I can’t even remember it just proves that it was so trivial and small, and definitely not worth the time I spent worrying about it. Finding out about brain surgery, minutes after worrying about something else, was a reminder that we worry so much about things that often never materialise. They are a product of our imagination and often aren’t real. Now, this probably doesn’t seem all that comforting, knowing I was minutes away from finding out about a much bigger worry. But to me, it was the perfect reminder that our ‘worries’ are just in our heads.
Even after having brain surgery, and corrective eye surgery, and dealing with all the things I had previously feared, I’ve realised that the adversities that actually do occur in our lives, are far easier to handle than we think they will be. That’s because they are real and require us to problem solve. And rather than drive ourselves insane thinking of the worst possible scenarios, we find ourselves more equipped to take action than we give ourselves credit for.
The important lesson I learnt, was that whatever life threw at me then, and continues to throw at me now: I can handle it.
And you will too.
Your worries ultimately stem from the belief that you don’t think you can handle them. But how can you possibly know that right now? All you need to remember is to face whatever it is when it comes, and know that when or if it does, you can handle it.
We are the creators of our worries and therefore we are responsible for our own misery and pessimistic thought patterns. We get so upset about the prospect of something happening that we build up such a story of it. We live and breathe this fake reality we’re creating. When in the meantime, we forget to live in the present moment.
We worry about losing our jobs or whether we will find new ones, instead of enjoying the ones we do have and making the best of it right now.
We worry about not having enough money to pay our bills or do the things we want to do, instead of feeling grateful for what we have right now.
We worry we will never find true love, or that we might lose the love we currently have, instead of appreciating our relationships, nurturing these and learning to love ourselves.
We worry about where to eat or what to wear, or if we are saying the right things so much so that we don’t leave time to enjoy the actual experience, the people around us or the conversations we are having.
The truth is, life is challenging enough without letting guilt from the past, or anxiety of the future keep us from right now and living in this moment. Let’s not make life even more challenging by focusing our attention, and draining too much of our energy on the things that are all just in our imagination. Because that’s often all worries are; a fiction of our imaginations and giving time to them is taking away from the time we can spend actually living.
Instead of worrying right now about something that might not even materialise, remember to face it when it comes. If this is too difficult at first, simply put off worrying until tomorrow. Tell yourself that you simply won’t worry about it today. When tomorrow comes, do the same. Soon you will see that your worry fades away and takes less of a hold on you.
Most frustrations lessen with time. Even good news eventually follows bad. Go with the flow and make it a promise to yourself that you won’t worry; you’ll face it when it comes.
And if it does, remember that you will handle it.