Advice For a Friend: 10 Favourite Quotes From My New Book

A few months ago, I published a book titled ´Things I’d Say.’ It features all the words of advice, wisdom or tough love that we’d so easily say to our friends, but not to ourselves. The book is broken down into key themes: fear, change, resilience, hope, acceptance, worries, growth and gratitude. When I was in hospital having brain surgery, my sister wrote me a comforting message of things to remember for the future, to help me through that difficult time. She finished with the words, “and if you lose all hope, ask yourself “what would I say to Harrie if this was her.”’ The idea stemmed from those words and how it always seems so much easier to find hope and reassurance in a situation just simply by directing it as though you're directing it to someone else.

Below is a selection of a few of my favourite quotes from the book. 

Fear

1. If the worst possible outcome can happen, then the best is also achievable! You read about people achieving amazing things all the time. Ask yourself, "If they can, why can’t I?”

Change

2. The best thing about life not going to plan is the new experiences you’ll face because of it. Remain open to fully living your life, regardless of what it throws at you. The unknown can be equally as exciting as the fear you’re attaching to it. Your feelings of grief for the life you expected, and fears about the one you’ll now live, are justified and normal. But accepting your situation, and seeing the opportunities because of it, is the fastest way to move forward with a positive attitude. You'll be surprised at how you no longer want what you once did, and how you begin to fall in love with something you didn't even realise you wanted.

3. If you're not happy in your current situation, you have the power to change it. Don't wait around for someone to make that change for you. Make your own life, don't wait for it to happen to you.

Resilience 

4. Remember that change is inevitable. You shouldn’t allow fear of it to prevent you from embracing the unknown, remaining true to yourself, and fully participating in every chapter of your life. Even if there are some you would rather skip. Have a little faith in the journey ahead, push through the fear, and trust that while there will always be certain situations we have no control over, what we can control is the way we choose to think about them. We can choose to think good thoughts.

5. There will always be a problem. Just when you begin to think a problem has been resolved, you’re presented with another one. That’s just how life is. It’s about tackling these problems each day, little by little, keeping calm, and carrying on. And it's about knowing with certainty that there is a solution to every problem. There is something you can do to improve right now in some way. Observe the situation as it is and not how you feel about it. Because there's the event, and then there's the story we tell ourselves about it.

Hope

6. The real you is who you are when you’re feeling your best. When you feel so confident and invincible, you can go after anything. When your energy is so high, nothing can shake it. When you feel certain about your strengths and abilities, and deserving of great things in life. That’s the real you. The real you is always there, even on the days you feel unmotivated, hopeless about the future, and resistant to change. Don’t let those temporary down days cloud your memory of how possible everything seems when you feel good about yourself.

Acceptance

7. Showing your true self and being vulnerable takes a tremendous amount of courage and strength. It tells people that you fully accept yourself and aren’t afraid to show that to the world. And it encourages you to embrace every moment, even the uncomfortable ones. We often feel so afraid of being rejected if we show our true selves, and so we adapt who we are to 'fit in' and belong. But being vulnerable is the best way to form meaningful connections with people who accept your authentic self, and are fully supportive and empathetic in every way.

Worries

8. Imagine all the past versions of yourself standing in front of you. The one who got rejected at a job interview, the one who cried themselves to sleep, the one who was seemingly broken beyond repair from a breakup, or the one who embarrassed themselves when giving a presentation to a group of people. Remind yourself of all the painful experiences that you didn’t think you would get through, until you did. You are not the anxiety you’re experiencing right now. You're so much more, and those painful experiences were needed to shape the person you are today.

9. You don’t need to hit rock bottom or have an epiphany moment to realise you need “to find your purpose”. It just has to be something you enjoy, and that is meaningful to you, to help you view setbacks with a broader perspective. Whether that's becoming involved in your community, taking up a new hobby, or reading a book you enjoy. Take a break from daily stresses and recharge by doing something that you love and are passionate about. Think about what lights you up, and then do more of it.

Growth

10. Do something each day that is a step towards how you want to live your life. See the opportunity in every situation. Appreciate the little things. Bask in the things you can do. And never waste a good crisis.